If you are diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, your life is in jeopardy. It IS life-threatening. You will not have long. Even if you are diagnosed with a benign brain tumor, as I was, there are inumerable complications that could occur after undergoing brain surgery to remove it. Many patients who have had a tumor in the EXACT PLACE I had mine come out of surgery with short-term memory loss, the inability to put thoughts into words, behavior changes, and paralysis. Many are never the same.
I am not saying that it was an easy road; I do not want to diminish the depth of healing that has taken place. There were many, many hopeless days when I was completely desperate. As recent as LAST WEEK, there was constant fear, doubt and anxiety and I walked through my days wondering when I would relapse and waiting for bad news again.
Then camp week came. On Tuesday night, I could not even go because I was having what felt an awful lot like absence seizures. When would they end? On Wednesday, I went to camp service nervous that the stimulation would cause my body to go into panic mode, as it so often had. And I was right-I had to leave during song service and returned once the preaching started. During the amazing service, Bro. Joel Urshan preached about how everything is about Jesus. One of the things he said was that he already provided healing-we have to live in HIM to receive it. I prayed earnestly and felt a change happen in my mind and in my body.
I felt "normal" for the first time in MONTHS. The fear and anxiety that had surrounded me was finally replaced with peace. THIS was the healing that my entire congregation had been praying for for so long. This was the healing that I was so desperate for.
The next day, I had an appointment in the morning with one of my doctors and she commented that if she didn't know me, she would NEVER KNOW that I had a brain tumor or surgery at all.
I went to the next two services without worrying that I wouldn't make it through. In fact, I could sing and jump and dance without fear of headaches or seizures or panic attacks.
PRAISE GOD!
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